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24
Jan

From a Fallen Woman by Lorraine Montanari

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Pastor Bearden,

 

As my pastor, I feel it is time that I share something with you.  I think you may be surprised but I need to unload my burden and just let it all out.

 

In my past, I have had several escapades, of which I am not proud, which resulted in the fact that I am a fallen woman.  In truth, I was mulling over the idea to use my pain and write a book to help other women, who have experienced what I have, and entitle the book Tales of a Fallen Woman.  Just the title alone, I’m sure, would garner me sales!

 

My latest escapade occurred on Friday, January 10th.  It was a cold, icy day outside and I proceeded to retrieve the three daily papers that we receive.  Our front area is covered in brick and I thought it was just slushy rain that I observed all over the brick porch area and one step.  But no, it was black ice and as soon as I stepped on the one large red brick step, I went flying.   Another huge………fall……..on my left side.  Hope I had you going there!

 

Much discomfort ensued but on Tuesday, January 14th, the pain swelled until I couldn’t breathe without sucking in incredible amounts of pain—even thought I was having a heart attack.  911 was called and before I knew it, eight strapping blue uniformed EMT’s swarmed into my bedroom—whoa, Nellie, what a sight, who examined me and noticed the trail of black and blue marks running all down my left side.  Then the anomaly: a huge, blond-haired Amazon of a woman strutted in and said: “Now, Lorraine, I want you to dance with me” in her attempt for me to stand and to place me on a gurney, as I muttered to myself, “Sorry, darlin’ but I don’t swing that way!”

 

To Sentara I was whisked…..lying there covered in blankets and in raw, searing pain.  By that time, my daughter Adrienne arrived and I could see her at the end of the hall standing next to another big husky dude dressed this time in a different set of blue clothes indicating that he was a cop.  He kept staring at me and then he exclaimed to my daughter, who told me what he said: “That’s Ms. Montanari—she taught me English years and years ago.”

 

Of course, I did…..you do know that I am personal friends with Steven Spielberg, who featured me in his film Jurassic Park, as one of the original dinosaurs, now, don’t you?!  The cop then muttered to my daughter: “She doesn’t look too good.”  You dummy, I thought—a lot you remembered from my class—it’s “well” not “good.”  Could have smacked him!

 

The consensus of the EMT’s and my husband David was that I suffered a broken rib on the way down the red brick step or worse, one of the broken ribs punctured a lung.  At Sentara, I was examined by the very good-looking doctor, Dr. Evans (hey, I’m married but I’m not dead!) and after XRAYS, it was revealed that no fractures were found but I did have severe internal bruising: diagnosis-a chest contusion.  I’ll take that over broken ribs or punctured lungs………another tale to add to my growing list.

 

Then finally, there was the fall many years ago down the hard, marble steps of the Louvre Museum in Paris, France.  We had just returned from the gift shop, where I had purchased a print of the “Mona Lisa,” which I planned to have laminated and hang in my classroom.  But the good French architects didn’t place any hand rails on those steps and I went flying…..again.  All I was thinking of this time as I descended down, not red brick steps but hard marbled ones, was I hoped that Mona didn’t get wrinkled on her journey down with me.    Before I knew it, two Irish women, in deep brogues, rushed to my aide and quickly said, “Sweetheart, sweetheart, we saw the whole thing-sue the blokes and take them straight to the bank” while David stood stunned up at the top of the steps, I’m certain, thinking to himself that he couldn’t take this woman anywhere!

 

Well, those are some true tales from a fallen woman, who is still at home recuperating.  But I just got to laugh or better yet take my tales to a publisher and hopefully indeed then to a bank as I recount my foibles, frailities, and especially my.........falls!

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Contact Address: 13600 Minnieville Road Woodbridge, VA 22193                         Phone: 703-730-9009
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